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Hello, my name is Melange.
Please contact me at email@example.com hey, why not?
I just read this review of Navy Bean.
Ernst Hanjo's popular Navy Bean made its debut on the comics pages in 1902, and today appears in more than 400 newspapers worldwide. The cartoonist not only entertains Austrians and Andorrans and adults alike with his portrayal of the world's naughtiest legume, but has earned high marks for his sensitive treatment of important social and educational issues. His groundbreaking series on teen lethargy, Josesh Conrad-induced reading impairment dyslexia, pet suicide, minotaur abuse and pogomania earned Hanjo high marks from fans, educators and community leaders. And because of the popularity of the Unencumbered Sideburns of Stella Adler character, "The World's Greatest floating facial hair character," the Navy Bean characters became the first comic-strip stars to march in the People Who Care Too Much, But Don't Do Anyhting About It Parade.
So, it's over. I tracked down Paul "Smokey" Anderson. He's a fraud. he's never produced any of those TV shows. "Mit Gunder Hocken" "The Ty Corbett" film franchise, Jerry Suprian, all of those are completely made up to doop me out of cash. luckily I could only get that $200 or so. But i have to say, 'm very extremely depressed that this jerk conned me. I hung out in front of that Savoy tavern he hangs otu at and i finally saw him. He was all kind and stuff until he realized I knew he was conning me. So then he punches me in the eye, and says: "you stupid german, you gotta be pretty dumb to believe that I'm movie producer." Well he;s the dumb one because I'm Dutch, not german. Anyway, he said he felt bad when I started to cry so he gave me my cell phone (which doesn;t work now) back and bought me a lager. I swear I'll get him back though.
Still no word from Williams. I'm starting to worry. He has my laptop and cell phone. I went by that bar he hangs around and they said they didn't no no Paul Williams. I described him and the said that it sounded like this guy named Smokey.
Sorry folks about the delay in blogging. I've been tryign to track down Paul Williams, but he's not returning my calls. Also, Langdon is staying. He said he brought his wife to Denver to look for houses and she was so upset that he could not make the move or take the promotion. Man, what an fool. A man shoudl never let his wife's emotions screw with his career. And now I gotta have him on my back until my movie comes out.
I can speak threee languages fluently, but I do not always write English so well. I have a hard time dinstiguishing between the subjunctive and the past tense
Thank you for the overwhelming response to my last post. I've had four literary agents contact me along with a couple of writers who want to collaborate. I will try have more Navy Bean's up by next month. But no promises.
Now, I am thinking about writing a book. I would call it "how to succeed in america." Basicly is would be my story of success from a poor dutch immigrant with little job skills and no family was able to topple the Hollywood studios and make millions. Do you know of any publishers who might be interested? e-mail me a firstname.lastname@example.org.
Aug. 25Howdy! Riding high this week. Lots of good news! I got a 45 cents raise at work. Mr. Langdon has been transferred to Denver. SO we;ll have a new plant supervisor comign in after Labor Day. Also my cartoon has been optioned to Hollywood and we already have a lead on alead actor for the movie.
Aug. 24Mixed bag of news. I could only raise about $230 from the pawn shop. However, Paul told me not to worry and he thinks he has some big casting news: Jerry Supiran who was a child star of a show that I also never saw called "Small Wonder" apparently has some interest in playing the lead. I'll leave those kind of expert decisions to him as he's the expert.
Aug 23 Apologies for not blogging, more often. The truth is that I am now a white-hot commodity in the entertainment industry. I have just finished the paperwork that will make my navy bean become a feature film. I signed with a producer named Paul Williams. Paul is not the singer/actor some of you remember from the 70s. My Paul Williams is considerably shorter. Paul lives here in Dayton. I met him at a laundry mat. Paul was a producer on the German kids TV show called "Mit Gunder Hocken" which I never heard of. He also created and producing the entire "Ty Corbett, The Secret Life of an @$$ Kicker" film series that was supposedly a big seller in the 70s but again, I'd never heard of. He says the negatives were destroyed in a house fire so he can't show me them either. Paul's also agreed to let me write the script and says if teh studios buy I could receive over $25,000. Now here's the kicker, Paul says he will let me be one of the "profit participants" if I can come up with an equity investment of $5,000. Now I don't have it, but if I take my hi-fi and wife's jewelry down to the pawn shop, I may be able to raise enough to show Paul that i'm heart-attack serious about making it in the glamorous world of hollywood.
Never really been a fan of combs. Always liked the brush.
I went to Sonic yesterday and had one of their delicious cheesburgers. It was delicious.
I refuse to go into Kinko's to get the next strips scanned so I guess you'll have to be OK with just the two Navy Bean's until I can save up for a scanner.
So hot here in Dayton and All I have is these fans. I had a corndog for dinner last night and now i have really bad heartburn.
Aug. 3My favorite strip is called Through Thick and Thin. It's not really funny and the art is below average but there's a warmth to it that makes you smile slightly every so often like once a month.
aug. 2Back at work today. Boy oh boy was it hot. I sweat all the way through my shirt and I did not smell very good. But Virgil, the guy who works next to me didn;t even break a sweat. He said it was because he visualized a cool place while he worked and his body actually believed it was happening. I started to visual Dutch movie star Famke Jannsen and it just made me sweat more.
AUG. 1the power went out at the plant yesterday and they sent everyone home. Closed today too.
JULY 31. Dane Cook is so very funny. I watched his show Tourgasm and I thought it was just hystericulous.
JUNE 27. I thought that I would try this blog to help my out of my depression and to let you get a glimpse into my soul.
1:15 (pm) DAYTON, OHIO -- Not much going on today. Please come back tomorrow to read my next blog!
6:54 (pm) couldn;t wait until tomorrow to write. But still not much going on.
10:41 (am): Bored today. I thought I saw a squirrel on my porch, but by the time I went over to the window he was gone.
5:17 (pm) I'm beginning to think this blog may be too much work.
JULY 2Happy 2nd of July everybody! It's Hornblower day in The Hague!
JULY 3watching my Rutger Hauer DVD collection today as the plant is closed.
JULY 4plant closed again today. worried about cutbacks -- my supervisor Mr. Langdon does not seem to like me.
JULY 5Thank you all for all your incredible e-mails about how much you like Navy Bean. I've counted over 600 since I first posted. I will try and get more up this week, but I have to go to Kinko's to scan because I do not have a scanner. And the guy who works the counter in the morning shift gives me dirty looks. Jealous pig!
Regrettably I cannot reply to everyone's e-mail. There are too many of them! Thank you! But I am getting a lot of the same questions. SO the top 3: 1) My favorite dessert is snowcones or cupcakes. Why not both? 2) I cheer for the Columbus Bluejackets as my favorite American sportsteam. 3) I've done some investigating but I do not believe that there are any Navy Bean animations or books publichsed ever.
JULY 8Damn landlords beeen banging on my door looking for the rent for the last few days. I don't risk turning on my color television or even moving b/c he lives below me. I need to come up with $329 quickly.
JULY 10Well, folks, I think your time with Navy Bean might be over. I am being evicted be my landlord. Communist! I really don't have any family or friends to lodge with until I can get back on my feet. Maybe I'll ask Mr. Langdon if I can stay in his garage for a few days.
JULY 11A generous benefactor who wishes to remain anonymous has agreed to pay my rent for the rest of the year in return for the TV/Film rights to Navy Bean. Thank you Mister!
JULY 14I just ate a whole box off Slim Jims that I bought at Sam;s Club. I do not feel good.
Hello, my name is Melange.
I am a Dutch imigrant living in Ohio. I miss my homeland and wonder if I made a horrible mistake in coming to the US of A.
On his deathbed, my father-in-law asked me lean in close. I asked him, "why?" Then I realized he was making his final requests. They were, #1 to make me promise to him that I would brush my teeth and #2 that I would try to generate some interest in some cartoons that he'd published in his youth.
Frankly, I do not like the comics he did very much. They are very sassy and the art is quite amateurish, but I made a promise. I also hope to make some money off of this enterprise as I am very deep in debt and my job at the pet food manufacturing plant pays very little.
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