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Are you one of the millions of people clamoring for a daily comic strip about a pirate who has foregone life on the open seas in favor of getting married and raising a family in today’s middle America?* Then you’re in luck! Because “The Pirate Mike: Maladjusted Suburbanite” provides readers with that exact strip! While enjoying “The Pirate Mike: Maladjusted Suburbanite,” happy consumers will be able to: Marvel! at The Pirate Mike’s complete inability to do the laundry! Behold! The Pirate Mike’s singular capacity for failing to mow the lawn! Gawk! at The Pirate Mike’s floundering while he adjusts to life as a father and a husband! Be assured that Ulysses himself knew no greater perils than those facing our hero. Yet, despite The Pirate Mike’s profound shortcomings, we nevertheless submit that our readers (adjusted and maladjusted alike) can glean important life lessons from The Pirate Mike’s daily quest to live aboard a landlubber’s world! *If not, read the strip anyway.

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